Archive for the ‘Personal development’ Category
Green card blog post
Friday, January 27th, 2012Planning for happiness in 2012
Friday, January 13th, 2012
Often people who are dealing with a problem in their lives ask me; ‘Can you just deal with that issue for me? Can you just fix me without me having to do anything myself?’
The truth is that I am trained to, and do occasionally, do healing work in this way, if the soul/the spirit is willing.
This kind of work is limited though because human beings are designed for conscious evolution, for consciously developing their understanding of themselves and the world around them.
Therefore to rely solely on another to heal you is to skip a phase in your personal development. It also means missing out on your right as a human being to heal yourself.
When you hand over your power to another in this way, you also miss an important truth; that you’re doing the work all the time, even when you’re not aware of it. You’re either putting effort into happiness or you’re putting effort into dissatisfaction, discomfort and disease.
Handing over your personal healing power to another is the equivalent of growing and nurturing your victimhood.
The work that frees you from any such victim mentality is to bring your awareness to the present moment.
To ask; where is my energy, my effort being directed in this moment?
This is the work; to pay attention.
When you do this, you don’t look to others to solve your problems, to offer their opinions, or to heal your wounds – emotional, physical or spiritual.
You don’t look to others because you know innately that all the power to do so lies within.
I read once that one of the attributes of a happy person is that they plan for happiness. And so I wonder, in 2012, is this what you’re planning for?
If you are, this is not something which starts tomorrow. It starts today.
It starts now.
Planning for happiness isn’t about hope or anticipation or waiting until you’ve got a better job, house, relationship or family.
There is only one way to plan for happiness and that’s to find happiness in this very moment.
Find something to be happy for right now and build from there.
Don’t expect every moment to be happy. Particularly not in the beginning. But notice the moments that are and consciously bring more and more of your energy to those times.
As you do, 2012 will become a year of unfolding layers of deeper and deeper levels of happiness.
I look forward to joining you in the unfolding.
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Photo credit: Jasmic
In praise of shyness and freeing yourself from its restraints
Friday, December 9th, 2011
I was a very shy child. Very shy. My mother says she had never in her life met someone so shy.
I didn’t like being handed around to other people as a baby and when I started at ballet school I used to hang off the teacher’s leg for a long, long time before I was willing to join the class.
As I grew older, I heard such stories and interpreted them to mean there was something wrong with me. I thought I was hearing this; that it’s better to be gregarious and talkative and open and friendly than it is to be shy.
I realise now that there’s no right or wrong about this, there’s simply difference.
Most people who know me as an adult wouldn’t necessarily call me shy. It’s not a label I apply to myself, and still, the fragrance of shyness is often present in my life.
Not in the stereotypical way of being afraid of conversation or of speaking in front of large groups of people.
Of course shyness can look like that, but in my experience, shyness goes much deeper.
- Shyness can look like introversion, or like creating a job where you get to spend 80% of your time on your own.
- It can look like not enjoying speaking on the telephone and/or teaching yourself tricks to overcome nervousness when convening meetings.
- It can look like preferring to meet with friends on a 1 to 1 basis rather than attending large parties.
- Sometimes it looks like spending time with children rather than adults – shying away from the judgments and demands of adult conversation.
It can also look like this:
- the capacity to be with oneself
- vulnerability
- softness and gentleness
- tenderness and grace
- intuition, understanding and a capacity for great empathy
- acute awareness of exposure and, for those that are really willing to sit in that, it looks like a capacity to be exposed and to allow others the same.
Certainly shyness can be used to hide behind all of these things and at the same time, it can be used as an avenue to embody all of these things.
So to every person who has had the experience of shyness; to every person who has been described as ‘painfully shy’ by others; to every person who experiences the occasional torture of shyness, who experiences the world as too brash, too much, too aggressive, I say this – dive deeply into your shyness.
Not as a label but as an experience, as an emotion.
And forget what others say about it. Forget the stereotypical description of shyness.
Dive deeply and find out for yourself. Sit in exposure and allow it to free you.
Shyness serves a great purpose and when you are willing to neither hide behind it, nor cover it up, but rather stand in the midst of it and just allow it to be, you will find there an exquisite beauty. One which serves the world in its gentle appreciation of all that is.
You will also find that in shyness there is strength, there is power and there is a strong, clear, articulate voice which observes, notices and experiences the world in a very unique way.
You may even find that the world is a far better place for having heard from such a voice.
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Photo credit: Zitona
Connection, trust and a scientific reason to engage in social media
Friday, November 25th, 2011
I was recently introduced to the molecule oxytocin by a group of people who are interested in keeping natural birth rates as high as possible. You see, oxytocin is released into the bodies of mothers and babies during the labour process and also during breastfeeding. When you watch this video, you’ll realise why people are interested in ensuring that babies have a good injection of oxytocin early in life.
That’s not the reason I’m sharing this today though. I’m sharing it because it’s a timely follow up to the recent blog post where I spoke of the problem of disconnection. As a person who is always looking for the easiest and most effective ways for people to live from a place of connection (or alignment, as I like to call it), I was very interested to learn that:
- there is a molecule in the body which directly relates to our experience of connection, trust and empathy; and
- there is a very easy way to increase the release of this molecule into your body so that you can increase your experience of connection easily and effortlessly.
The video runs for 16 minutes, so I suggest you grab a cup of tea and sit back and enjoy. (more…)
Stumbling forward towards aligned living
Friday, November 18th, 2011
In my 1:1 work this week, I had a couple of people present with similar experiences regarding clearing, healing and generally living aligned in every moment. The experience we were discussing goes roughly like this;
1. You decide you’d like to explore the world of personal development and stumble across something which works
There are billions of ways in which this might occur; a friend mentions a therapist or a coach or perhaps you find yourself turning up at a meditation, yoga class or personal development course. What shows up is not so important. The fact that it shows up says you’re ready. You’re ready to start exploring what lies beneath the surface of your day to day existence.
Once you’re ready, you can assume that whatever shows up is the exact thing you need at that moment to help clear out old patterns, ideas or beliefs that are holding you back or causing upset, frustration, disappointment or disease in your life. (more…)
A simple guide to changing your emotions
Friday, October 28th, 2011
In a world which has been shown at its core to be an infinite field of energetic vibrations, capable of transformation in the blink of an eye, human beings are remarkably fond of making definitive statements about ‘the way the world is’.
In truth, there is no ‘way it is’. There is only the way you see the world and the way your friend sees the world and the way your neighbour sees the world. All are true in their experience but none are absolutely true.
So, where does that leave us?
With choice.
The choice as to which vibrational waves we want to ride and which we’d like to leave alone.
My friend Joel Young describes it this way; radio waves are constantly transmitted through the air. BBC World Service for example is playing all around the globe everyday. (more…)
Personal development resources
Friday, September 16th, 2011
This is part 4 of a 4 part series on personal development. For the rest of the series, see: part 1 (why personal development is important), part 2 (misunderstandings about personal development) and part 3 (things to know when starting out).
This week we’re exploring personal development resources, modalities and teachers that you might be interested in knowing about.
This is not an exhaustive list, nor is it intended to be. It reflects the techniques and teachers I’ve come across in my own personal development journey.
MODALITY: YOGA
Yoga is an integrated approach to the health of mind, body and soul. Based on teachings at least 2,500 years old, yoga incorporates 8 limbs: behaviour toward others, behaviour toward oneself, physical postures, breathing practices, shutting out the external world, focus and concentration, meditation, and finally union with all that is.
In the West most yoga classes are focused on the 3rd limb – physical postures – although most yoga teachers I know incorporate a smattering of the other limbs. (more…)
Personal development: 6 things to know when starting out
Friday, September 2nd, 2011
[NB: This is part 3 of a 4 part series on personal development. You can find Part 1: 'Personal Development: Why it's important' here and Part 2: '7 misunderstandings about personal development' here.]
If you’re new to the world of personal development and interested in diving in, or if you’ve been dabbling for a while and always interested to know more, here are my top tips for navigation.
1. Start within your comfort zone
The personal development world is vast and the offerings are incredibly varied. I remember attending my first mind, body, healing expo, years ago. I was completely overwhelmed, dubious about what was on offer, not up on the lingo and not wearing the ‘right’ clothes (Thai fishermen pants being the fashion du jour).
If you too ever find yourself feeling daunted and overwhelmed, my advice is this: start slowly and start with something that is not too dissimilar to what you already enjoy doing. (more…)
7 misunderstandings about personal development
Friday, August 26th, 2011
[NB: This is part 2 of a 4 part series on personal development and is intended as an article to share with friends and family who might be interested in exploring this world. I'd recommend printing it out and reading with a cup of tea. You can find Part 1: 'Why personal development is important' here.]
This week we’re going to bust some myths about personal development. Let’s begin with the most prevalent:
1. Personal development is not for everyone
I use the term ‘personal development’ as short hand for ‘knowing yourself’.
The more acquainted you become with yourself, the wiser you become. In this way, you might also think of the phrase ‘personal development’ as code for ‘the getting of wisdom’.
In my view, saying ‘personal development is not for everyone’ is like saying ‘eating is not for everyone.’ Yes you can hold that line, but eventually you will become very uncomfortable, you’ll weaken in your capacity as a human being, and you are likely to become ill.
Just as you were born with a digestive system for a reason, similarly there’s a reason you were born with the capacity for deepening in awareness and understanding. (more…)
Personal development: why it’s important and 10 things it can teach you
Friday, August 12th, 2011
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting a four-part personal development series.
This is Part 1 where we look at why we might choose to spend time on personal development. What it has to offer.
Part 2 will explore common misunderstandings about personal development.
Part 3 will look at what to consider when starting out.
Part 4 will provide information about resources, modalities, teachers and techniques that you might be interested in exploring.
In writing this series, I’m using the terms ‘spirituality’, ‘personal development’ and ‘self inquiry’ almost interchangeably. You might not do the same and that’s fine.
I use them interchangeably because my experience is that irrespective of the label or modality, all techniques which are born from the heart and which bring you back into your heart, achieve the same goal – they bring you home to the truth of yourself.
So this is what I mean when I use terms such as ‘spirituality’ and ‘personal development’ – I mean techniques, teachings and tools which bring you into your heart and home to who you really are.
This is a place that I wasn’t always aware of. In fact, in what now feels like many lifetimes ago, phrases such as ‘bringing you into your heart’ or ‘home to the truth of yourself’ would have annoyed me. They would have annoyed me because I was suspicious and wary of anything ‘new agey’ or overtly spiritual. (more…)